Managing Sincere Professional Relationships: An Oxymoron?

Relationships, especially business relationships, are a funny thing. When you try to think about them, something strange happens and everything gets weird. But if you leave something so important up to chance and instinct, is that good enough?

It’s like thinking about your tongue when you’re trying to speak: you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. If you think about the sounds of words and what you have to do with your tongue as you speak, you can’t begin to control your thoughts. And what’s even worse, EVERYTHING sounds strange. Yet, even though we know shouldn’t think about our tongues when we talk, they are obviously important. You can’t very well talk about much without your tongue….

That’s like relationships in business. So much has been written about self-interest, negotiation, and all the things we do to gain a competitive advantage, an edge over the competition. But who can accomplish anything solo any more? And who can you trust to be there when you need them? Genuine relationships are obviously important. Even essential. But if you think about your professional relationships and try to make them better, can they be genuine? Like your tongue, if you think about your relationships, won’t it all get weird?

It's a scary thought. Your friends from work, your colleagues, your peers, your mentors, the people you have done business with in the past are assets – critical assets – but is it wise to think about them? We have read and learned lots about our teams, but what about the relationships underlying them? Each one of them is so distinct, so unique. Is it possible to generalize? Can you be intentional, deliberate and genuine at the same time? On the other hand, if you let it all flow naturally, will these relationships survive? Years go by, things happen, and you loose touch.

What happens to those assets you take for granted? The real answer is simple: they fade.

But what is the alternative? Is it just a matter of attention? Who can afford the time? What have you done lately to think about your most important relationships, to take stock, to invest in them, to help them when they are in need, to make sure they will be there for you should you ever need them?

Wait a minute. Need them? It sounds so crass, so self-serving. Just formulating the thought in this way, at least for me, is a mistake. I can’t do it. It’s just not me. But is there some happy medium between some kind of regimented system that makes me feel like a fake and leaving such an important part of my life up to chance and instinct?

The focus of my blog will be figuring out what actually works for me as an individual and what I can do to understand that, to control that, and to improve. My friends are important. I’m not making any more “old” friends. And there are things I do (occasionally and somewhat serendipitously) that work for me. And I suppose that means there might be ways I can take what I actually do somewhat successfully and make it work better, in less time, with less effort. It’s much more about reflection and becoming who I am than it is trying to be something I’m not.

That’s what we aim to accomplish with Ticklr.

Come back and read more.